Jacobs Story Part 2
After Kamora
was put in the hospital Jacob and his siblings were removed from the home and
stayed with their maternal aunt while both parents were put under investigation
on allegations of child abuse. The
children were returned home to me four days later as the father of the girls
was arrested on child abuse charges.
Jacob was aware right away about what had happened to his sister. Even at such a young age I believe he understood
how serious it was. I also believe that
Jacob lived in fear because he recalled his sister’s dad yelling at Kamora A
LOT when she cried and calling her bad names.
Jacob never reported seeing abuse though. However, the yelling and name calling was
scary enough for a now 4yr old boy who already had some underlying issues that
I was trying to figure out through the past two years of weekly therapy
sessions. In the following months to
come Jacob suffered a tremendous amount of stress for a 4yr old little
boy. With the relentless ongoing
investigation and open case with the Department of Human Services the children
were removed once again after 3 weeks of being back home. Jacob and his sister Kolisa went to live with
his maternal uncle and his family while Kamora went to a medically fragile
foster care home and his oldest sibling Thomas was placed with his father. That is where Jacob and his sister Kolisa
lived for the next 4 months. It was not
only stressful for Jacob and his sister but for his Aunt and Uncle who had two
children of their own under the age of four.
After the four months it was just too stressful and Jacob and his sister
went to live with his paternal grandparents even though they were scheduled to
be returned home in just two weeks’ time.
This move to the grandparents only prolonged their homecoming an extra
2-3 weeks from the original planned time.
But nonetheless they got to come home to me finally. Shortly thereafter Jacob started attending a
therapeutic daycare called The Kempe Center through Children’s Hospital for
neglected and abused children. Jacob
attended Kempe Center for several months before starting 1st grade
at a local elementary school that had a BD program (behavioral development)
which could meet his needs. While
attending Kempe Center Jacob was diagnosed with mood disorder, and anxiety, and
PTSD. I chose not to medicate Jacob at
that time because I am one that just isn’t on board with medicating children. Jacob also received a 119 IQ score while
being tested during his evaluation at Kempe Center. I was told repeatedly don’t worry about
academics it will come to him. He is
smart and has the ability to gain what he needs (because he was behind in
reading) and struggled with writing.
Focus on his behavior. I was also
told that Jacob not only was gifted but that Jacob suffered emotionally and
that I would have to continue to monitor him closely that he would be prone to
bullying in years to come because of his nature. Once Jacob graduated Kempe Center he was able
to go to public school in the first grade but had to be in a self-contained
classroom with para support. By second
grade mom agreed to put Jacob on Medication to help him regulate his mood
swings and anger. The medication helped
some but not enough. He started to gain
weight. He became overweight and his behaviors
got worse as time went on. Jacob also took a huge step of faith this year in
second grade when he was 8yrs old by professing Christ as his Savior and
following through with Baptism as a confession of that faith. But even that wasn’t enough to really help
Jacob with all of his emotional struggles. By third grade Jacob had to be removed from
public school and put into day treatment.
Jacob attended Mount Saint Vincent’s Day Treatment Program for 9 months
where he got individual therapy, group therapy, family therapy with me, and continued
his education. In the fourth grade Jacob
was ok to go back to public school in a self-contained classroom with para
support again. As well he received
special transportation to take him to the school that could provide for his
needs. He stayed at this school through the 5th grade. Fourth and fifth grade were really rough
years on Jacob finding his way back into the public school setting. There were many obstacles we faced with
self-harm and visits to Children’s. There was a lot of transition with teachers
in the two years at the school and a portion of this time there was another kid
that bullied Jacob so bad that I am not sure he ever recovered from it
fully. In fact, I believe that it is a
big factor in Jacobs’s current issues and problems with his behavior today and
added to his PTSD. But all in all he
finished elementary and moved onto Middle school. Through all these years Jacob continued to go
to mental health therapy weekly visits and med evaluations monthly. We tried a range of therapies but nothing
seemed to work because we could never get to the root of anything due to always
having to address current situations that were happening. As well, Jacob has been receiving
occupational therapy in home for the past 5 years to help with fine motor
skills such as hand writing, keyboarding, brushing teeth, and skills of daily
living.
In November
of 2015 I finally had him tested at Children’s with a full psychological test, adaptive
test, and another IQ test which was his 4th one I believe and added
to what is his list of diagnosis currently which were:
- Mood disorder
- Anxiety
- PTSD
- ADHD
Children’s
added
- delayed milestones
Jacob has
significant delays in many areas. These
have been overlooked over the years due to his high IQ. But he suffers emotionally and
adaptively. His overall function is at a
5 or 6 year old not a 12 year old. And
it makes it really difficult to work with him because he is so smart but so far
delayed emotionally. He “looks”
normal. But he doesn’t “act” normal. And kids tease him and bully him. They think it’s funny to get him upset and
let him spew over then look at him like there is something wrong with him. Then tell everyone that he has “anger
issues” It really saddens me.
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